Over the course of time, especially after I had my own kids, I really noticed what other people said about their own kids in public and began to look at what I was saying about my own. So many people apologize for their kids’ behavior. Some are genuinely shocked and others are simply being apologetic with the full knowledge of why their kids are behaving a certain way. This message is for the ones who are genuinely shocked by the actions done and choices made by their children.
As a parent, when my kids act out, I have to reflect on my own behavior. What have I done to set this kind of example for my child? Am I being selfish? If so, then I should really reflect on that and see what I need to do to change it. No one likes a selfish person!
Am I argumentative? If so, why not try speaking kind and soothing words and talking things out like a civilized being? People who like to argue are hard to get along with and generally have very few true friends.
Am I critical? If so, is it constructive or destructive? If the latter, I really need to switch that around to become a more constructive kind of person. Destructive people are going down a path I do not wish to trod, nor do I wish my children to tread upon that path.
If you don’t like what your children are saying, perhaps look at what you yourself are speaking. Children repeat things. It’s a known fact.
Do you lament the fact that your teen is unconcerned about spending more time with you, or the fact that they don’t talk to you at all? Ask yourself when was the last time you willingly sat down to let them read to you or talk to you when they asked? Were you too busy? Too tired? If you sat down with them, did you really listen? With both ears and full focus?
Our kids are only young for a short time. Especially in today’s society, it’s so easy for them to get any kind of information over the internet. And while we can protect them a little bit, it’s not good to be overprotective, either. Start setting good examples when your kids are young. It might be annoying to have to set aside that book or project you waited all week to get to but I can guarantee the few minutes your young child will take of your time will be time well invested in later years. We are the first teachers of our children. If you have to send your baby off to daycare, it’s extremely important to choose a really good one with a teacher/caregiver who will instill the values that you feel are important in life. The first 4 years of a child’s life are vital to their learning, vital to their bonding with you as a parent, too. So when you pick them up from daycare, don’t let the annoyance or frustration of other wants, desires, “important” things, take precedence over the most important thing of all…family.
I hope these little tidbits are helpful. Thanks for reading! Laugh a lot and remember to breathe!